Is there an OCD on Notification?!

if yes, then i think i’m one!

smartphone (suddenly found this term so OLD SCHOOL! lol… ) is most of my life.  my work, news, friends, communication, entertainment… (not bank! i still hesitate on apps / online banking or payment) are all in this 5″1 screen cell.  It is super convenience to live with it.

BUT!

i have an issue. i can’t stand with that little somewhat adorable colourful ball with a little number in it, called it the “Ball”! Whenever this ball appeared, it’s notified one that there is a number of unread news in the apps that need to be checked.  emails, g+, fb, tweet, ig, apps updates, news, msgs, etc.  These balls drives me crazy!

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copy from google search

i feel the same when i turn on my laptop’s outlook, or twitter on Chrome, anywhere with a ( No. ) or bold number in it! its like someone keeps nagging that i have a series of unfinished business.

Untitled

my Chrome browsers, keep (93) only for this post!!!! i keep looking at it every few mins…

i am not sure when do i started to feel irritated by that (it probably be way before there is fb / smartphone). all i know is i can’t help but to get rip of them! ALL OF THEM! i call it “Kill the Ball!”

whenever i have a new app / phone, i will try to turn off the notification as many as i can, coz i will check everything frequently anyway.  this is my ritual first thing in every morning (actually, whenever the ball appears) for those still shown. then i can move on to my daily work.

i found myself sitting in front of my computer for hours just to “mark as read” / “delete” the unread emails from my backup gmail account after a week-long business trip in China.

the itch also extend to my friends’ cells or others’ computer. i once saw my friend has 100,000+ in her email apps and some dozens of notification in her fb / other apps, i practically shouted at her “how could you let this happen!?” (like she has ruined my phone! sorry, dear!) she told me those are her backup emails + junk mails from all those subscriptions.  it’s been piled up ever since she has that email, doesn’t have time and doesn’t bother to deal with them. Now they are too many, so just let them be.  i found myself want to reach her phone and kill them all for good. of coz, she screen lock her phone and avoid any unfortunate happen.

i tried to ignore this itch for couple of days, found myself checking my phone in every couple of mins.  eventually, i gave in and hated myself more because i had to spend more time to kill them all!

i wouldn’t say it disturbed my life but feel unease without that.  is that still an obsession?!

 

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LP Chester Bennington 1976-2017

Chester Bennington

Profile Picture of #LinkinPark fb page.

Haven’t written a post for a long time. Honestly, never thought I would write this.

Chester Bennington, 41, vocal of Linkin Park, hang himself at home.

Checked my fb first thing in every morning, usually get news like bombing somewhere, other BS from dump US president or another mess up law sues from HK govt against our citizens. Never thought of my favourite singer vanished like this.

I followed LP since my first job, Hybrid Theory, it’s been 15 years now, still Crawling in my mind. LP, along with Marilyn Manson, White Stripes, Evanescence, are my all-time overtime work favourite, boosted me up for those lonely frustrating endless nights.

Remembered I was so excited for LP’s first HK Live, practically dragged my friends to go with me. It was fantastic, just like standing in the studio with them. They are a very hard working band, touring around the world nearly every year. They performance in HK every 1 or 2 years. I glad that I attended 2 of them, at least, one thing less to regret. It’s delightful to hear Chester’s voice in the movies, all gone now.

I spent whole morning looping LP videos and songs in my iTune and Youtube, search for a hint of his choice of passing in between the lyrics. Failed, of cause. In their latest album “One More Light”, though, song titles seem to tell something about it, Battle Symphony > Talking to Myself (the official video release hours before his suicide news out) > Nobody Can Save Me > Good Goodbye…

It’s difficult to LP fans, can’t imagine how devastated it is for his family. As a not-so-hard-core fan, I took it unexpectedly hard. Suicide, always my deepest fear of the love ones would have chosen. Would never sees its coming, crashes you from no where, then leaves you with nothing but a hollow soul.

Instead of RIP to Chester, I would rather say Live in Peace to his family and friends. Hope those loved him, supporting the family through this tragic time.

Change

it’s been a long time since my last post. I found it difficult to write, being trapped by my job for months, seeing the Brexit, Donald Trump got elected as US’s President, elected pan democratic LegCo members got JR then disqaulified brutally by our own government… all the seemingly nonsense now became the sense.  the trembling future has begun and no one knows what’s next or dare to predict.  i just hope the meme i read wouldn’t be true:

“New York, London and HK as the closest brothers, though we are unable to born at the same year, but we shall die at the same year.”

How would you like to be remembered?

Life is a series of odd events chained up together, created other random odds, make you lives full of mysteries, miserables, surprises and joys. We don’t get to choose the event, it just happen.

You thought you were a healthy young person, you have cancer. When modern medicine and your surviving will power helped you to beat the odd, you got killed by accident. So much like Final Destination!

Cheesy but true.

All you can do is whatever happens to you, you learn to cope with it, make every event worth, make a good/unique image for others to hold on.

The unfortunate young man was a kind, warm big brother. He was someone you will go to for advice or help. Though, my memory of him is very limited, I choose to memorize him like this.

My friend told me, she dreamed of her late father and asked him why he never come to see her. He told her that he was traveling in Africa. Instead of whining, she smiled, because this is her father, a free spirit.

I dreamed of my father days before father’s day, he was wearing his suits but 2 sizes too big, hurrying to work, grumpy and tense. This was him, this is what I can remember of him.

How you would like to be remembered?

Preface for “Another ghostish story…”

It was a twist of a Buddhist story, I heard long time ago. The original one is rather simple, and ended when the monk revealed that the lady was the dead body, who came back for searching the one, to repay him with her love. Explain why we had what we had and eventually we will find the one.

A odd reunion, for me.

But the story supposed to ask who indulged themselves in unsuccessful relationships to let go, to take easy every time when we failed. Giving hopes as the fascinating destiny or fate will do.

Are we intelligence enough to see through this, to accept this? The fate that fail us. The chance that slip through our fingers.

It is like chasing ghosts. Or we are just trying to lie at ourselves for a little comfort?